My wife announced one day that our marriage was over and she was leaving. I didn’t see it coming and was in shock. When I looked around me, I found myself on my own. My wife had built a group of friends through the school community. Ourolder friends had dwindled away as we got busy with kids, and our social life had revolved around her friends and their partners. Until then I figured I had a friend..butthen she’d just walked out the door. I hadn’t put any effort into building a trusted circle of  mates.

I was angry, disillusioned and in pain. So I just shut myself off and started to drink more than I should. Things escalated and I became reclusive. When I saw my kids I never had any great plans for the day and they seemed to leave almost thankful to go back to their Mum.I was in a really bad lonely place.

Finally, an old friend called me and got me out on a walk. He spent time with me and the walks became regular. We walked and we talked. I noticed a difference starting to happen and I gave up the grog.Now there is a group of us walking and talking and I realise that there are plenty of men going through what I did.

I heard a wonderful phrase from one of the guys. “It is important to move outwards rather than to move inwards.” So when I feel that familiar feeling of wanting to move inwards, I’m teaching myself to move out, to share, and to connect with group of guys.