Phrases like “Toughen up” or “She’ll be right” aren’t just throwaway lines. They reflect deeply embedded beliefs that emotional expression somehow equals weakness. Unsurprisingly, this has led many men to bottle things up, with serious consequences—loneliness, substance abuse, and tragically, suicide.

This cultural mythology about masculinity has real-life health consequences for men.

1. Increased Suicide Rates – Men are three times more likely than women to die by suicide in Australia. Data from the ABS (2023) shows that men account for 75% of all suicides in Australia. Many avoid traditional mental health services—not because they don’t care, but because these systems often feel clinical, impersonal, or out of reach.
   
   
2. Reluctance to Seek Support – Despite experiencing mental health issues at similar rates to women, men account for only 40% of Medicare-subsidised mental health services. Again, the stigma surrounding vulnerability and being perceived as weak deters many men from seeking support.
   
   
3. Anxiety and Depression – 1 in 5 men experience anxiety during their lifetime, and emotional suppression only exacerbates conditions such as anxiety, leading to chronic stress and isolation.

While our cultural perspective on masculinity does impact men’s mental health and wellbeing, it’s not the only factor. Other reasons why men are less likely to engage with therapists are often due to cost or simply not feeling understood. For rural men or those working in FIFO (Fly-In, Fly-Out) roles, logistical barriers pose an additional challenge.

The Power of Peer Support

At its simplest and most effective, peer support involves individuals with shared experiences providing mutual assistance, fostering a sense of understanding and community. For men, such support networks can be instrumental in addressing mental health issues, offering a platform to discuss challenges without fear of judgment.

At the local level, peer support thrives as it is a low-barrier approach, often initiated by men themselves to meet other men where they are.

Whether it’s the cost of therapy, a lack of relatable professionals, logistical challenges in remote areas, or the impact of shame and not wanting to be seen as weak, many men don’t feel that formal support systems are built for them. Peer support gives men a way to connect without the fear of judgment or diagnosis that many men fear with traditional support systems.

Peer support initiatives, such as The Men’s Table, are quietly changing lives. Men gather monthly over dinner to share the ups and downs of their lives, as well as the shared experience of navigating relationships, parenting, work, and aging in the 21st century.

Why Peer Support Works

Peer support is practical because it is individuals sharing their experiences. Hearing someone say, “I’ve been through that too,” has a unique power. The shared experience of men creates space for trust, connection, and mutual support to be built, which is especially important in communities where emotional honesty is rare.

When we hear another person say, “I’ve been through that” or “I am dealing with this,” it breaks down walls and silences shame. That simple acknowledgment can make all the difference. It opens a window for us.

1. Fighting isolation with connection – Peer support provides a connection against the corrosive power of loneliness. Loneliness is more dangerous than many of us realise. Swinburne’s research from 2021 likened its effects to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Peer groups—both online and in person—create a sense of belonging that saves lives.
   
   
2. Helping men find their words – For many men we have forgotten the language of emotions. We used this language when we were boys, but as we grew into men, our language became more transactional rather than expressive. Language that described how we felt fell into disuse. By the time many of us reach our late forties and fifties, our discomfort and uncertainty about expressing emotions keep us silent.

   However, when we observe other men expressing emotion, it allows us to do the same. Over time, we expand our emotional vocabulary. We grow comfortable seeing the strength of expressed emotion rather than suffocating silence.

3. Real stories, real impact – Amir shares,

   “I think myself and other men really need a safe outlet because it’s not always appropriate to share stuff with your partner and family. Being at a Table has made me more reflective of what’s going on for me, and helps me practise and feel more comfortable sharing my emotions. Listening to the other guys makes mes realise I’m not alone, that others have walked this path before. It allows me to take the pressure off myself.”

The strengths of peer support for men

1. Mental Health Gains – Peer support offers a non-clinical, strength-based approach to mental health challenges. It helps men feel less alone and more connected and fosters camaraderie and mutual respect, improving mental health.

   Men’s groups and peer networks provide safe spaces where men can learn the power of emotional expression. They help men challenge traditional masculine norms that discourage vulnerability. This leads to better coping and mental health management.

   It is essential to remember that peer support isn’t a rival to therapy—it’s a gateway. For many men, a casual conversation with another bloke becomes the first step toward seeking formal help. Peer models work because they validate emotions while eliminating the fear of diagnosis or clinical jargon.

   Peer networks provide a non-clinical, relatable approach. They help men feel less alone and encourage emotional openness without pressure or judgment.

2. Preventing Suicide – Programs like Men, Mates, and Mentors, and Living Works, safeTALK and ASIST are crucial in shifting the culture, making it okay to speak up about suicide before it’s too late.
   
   
3. Building Community – For many men from culturally and linguistically diverse backgrounds, including FIFO workers and those navigating life transitions such as retirement or being single parents, peer programs offer more than just support—they can build a lasting community and social ties.
   
   
4. Redefining Masculinity – Peer support spaces invite men to see strength not just in stoicism but in empathy, care, and emotional honesty. These spaces enable men to learn and model a different kind of masculinity that fosters greater connection, wellbeing, and enjoyment in life.
   
   

The Challenges and Limitations

Peer support programs also face significant challenges, including burnout among volunteers, a lack of consistent leadership, and limited funding. Some of the limitations that peer support groups grapple with are:

1. Cultural and Diversity Barriers – Language and cultural differences can limit access for men from diverse backgrounds, as can issues around sexuality and gender. These barriers often develop when groups develop a rigid groupthink mindset that replicates the dominant social view. For peer groups to be healthy, they need to cultivate a questioning mindset that fosters curiosity and embraces differences.
   
   
2. Sustainability Issues – Many groups rely on volunteers and struggle to keep members engaged in the long term. There can also be a high turnover within groups if men do not make their commitment to the group a priority.
   
   
3. Lack of Adequate Oversight – Without sufficient professional oversight, there is a risk of miscommunication or mishandling of sensitive issues that arise within the group. It is crucial for volunteers who lead or co-host groups to know they are supported, particularly when they face complex problems within the group.
   
   
4. De Facto Therapy – One of the risks with peer support groups is that men may try to use the group for de facto therapy rather than getting professional help and support. As mentioned above, peer support groups are good as an adjunct to professional counselling and support but should never be used as a replacement for professional support. This can be a complex issue for the cohosts or leaders of a group to deal with.
   
   

Redefining Masculinity through Connection

Peer support is quietly reshaping how Aussie men deal with mental health. It’s not a silver bullet, but it’s a powerful grassroots solution built on honesty, connection, and shared humanity. With the right support, these programs can help rewrite the script for men’s emotional wellbeing—one honest conversation at a time.

If you are looking for a peer support group near you, consider attending an Entrée for The Men’s Table. Attending an Entrée is a no-obligation way of experiencing The Men’s Table and seeing if it is right for you.

~ David Kernohan